Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong

On Sunday as i woke up, i thought to myself am i really ready for this. Is it a mistake? Am i going to regret it? I got up and got Michael and Macy up to get ready. As we got ready, the ball in my stomache seem to grow bigger. While waiting on my mother to get there, it really hit me. Im going to see my brother today. The one who put me through so much pain because he choose drugs over his family. I have learned i cant live my life without forgiving him. Which was extremely hard to do. In Feb of 2008 i saw a part of him i never want to see again. That was the worst feeling to know your own brother could steal from you and act like he didnt care he hurt you. I havent saw him for almost two years before this day and i was so nervous. The kids havent saw there Dad in over a year and a half.

Anger makes you smaller,

while forgiveness

forces you to grow

beyond what you were.

--Cherie Carter-Scott

On the way over there, I started worrying more and more what it would do to the kids. I mean i honestly think they need there daddy no matter the circumstances. I know they were excited and yet nervous at the same time. They picked on each other the whole time. Once we got there the smiles i saw on those kids faces i will never forget. It was like they were meeting Santa or something. As we walked in, we were checked to mkae sure we had nothing but our ids. We signed in and the officer told us to go into the room and find a seat. We waited about 3 minutes and he came to the door. I had the biggest knot in my stomache. The kids ran up and hugged him. We sat there for about two and half hours and vistied with him. The hardest thing i have ever had to do was telling the kids we had to go. It broke my heart to see there pain. I know they are only my neice and nephew but i never want to see them hurt. Jason talked to them for about ten minutes and finally they understood they had to go. As we said our goodbyes and walked out, they were both crying. We got in the car and not a word was said all the way home. Michael stopped crying and Macy cried her self to sleep.

The family is a haven

in a heartless world.

~ Christopher Lasch

Once we got home they seemed fine and were already talking about the next time we could go see him. There mother came and picked them up and later on that night Michael decided he did not want to go back anymore. He is older and he is a daddy's boy so i think it hurts to see his daddy like that. But how do i tell Jason his son doesnt want to come back and see him. What do i do? I cant make Michael go but i also dont want to be the one to tell Jason. It will kill him inside. Im really scared it will go bad. What if he decides to cure his pain with drugs again? I mean come on just cause he is in a rehab doesnt mean he cant get any. If it was meI would see that as a even more reason to push my self to get out. Its hard either way.

OK onto other news. In 2 days on wednesday, Christopher and I will be married 3 wonderful years. I think i love this man more and more every day. We had some anniversary pictures done by the famous Hope Baldwin. SHe is a great photographer.

Life is Good/Remembering those of 9/11

Life is good here in the backwoods. Over the past week we have been very busy. Last weekend was labor day and we went to the NASCAR races in Atlanta, which were very fun yet tiring.

\

Our anniversary is coming up and i cant wait. This will be the 1st time Christopher will actually be home. Its like my first Christmas. Hehe. I told him all i wanted for it was to have our pictures done by the best photographer ever, Mrs. Hope Baldwin. Im so excited and cant wait. I will post the pics as sooon as i get them. Life is good and i cant complain. Although we have been very busy lately I love having something to rather than nothing.

School is going good. I had my first test in Spanish and to my sup rise i made an 89 which i think is very good to for college Spanish 2. I only took a few classes this semester to raise my gpa. I have a walking class which i think will be the easiest A ever. We walk 2 miles then go home. WOOOHOOOO!!!

Today is a historical day. I can still remember where i was at 8 years ago when it all happened. I was in my home ec class in 7th grade. Me and my best friend at the time Ashley were so scared. We want home and talked about ti all night. It was a moment i will never forget. I think all those who fight for our country and put their lives in jeopardy for our freedom. To the families of 9/11 Im so sorry for all the loss. I know its been a long 8 years without your loved ones. May God bless you and help you heal in this time. I know you will all be in my prayers. Also i want to take a second and talk about the spouses of those who fight for our country. One of my best friends, her husband is over seas and although she dont show it i know she is always worried. You have to be a strong person to do that and i commend all. When someone joins a branch of the army their families join to. Thanks you! God Bless you.

On a happier note Michael and Macy are here for the weekend and i can only imagine what is going to happen. Lol. They are a handful but i love them dearly. Well that's all for now from McGovernville.

T-28 days

Well the official countdown is on. For mine and christophers 3rd anniversary. WOW. I cant believe it. So i figured i would tell the story of how we met. On July 23, 2004 we were introduced in the parking lot of Coffee regenioal. I know its a weird place to meet. A couple of days later he called and we talked for hours. We talked everyday for about a week on the phone then one day he didnt call. I didnt understand why. So being me, not afraid to confont someone, I called and asked why he didnt call he said i was acting like i didnt want to talk to him. Not exaclty sure how i mean i was spending hours upon hours on the phone with him. I really think he was trying to figure out if i would call him or be to scared to. Well at this time he was away at his sisters house who lives in Kingsland. I was working at winn-dixie. He told me he would be home that monday and wanted to know if i wanted to do something. I Of course i wanted to go out. Well to my suprise on sunday he shows up to my work(might i say i wasnt looking all that great) and we talked for a little bit and I said i though you werent coming back till Tomorrow and he said i had to come home early so i could see you. Sweet i know. Boy was i fallen then and it had only been a week. So monday night he calls and tells me him and his friend are going to play softball would i like to come. Well of course. I love to play softball, so i grab my cousin Kendra and put in shes going with me. We had a blast. Every night that week we hung out. We went to the movies, out to eat and just mainly hung out around my dads house. SO after that we were pretty much inseperable. We dated for about a month and he finally said I want you to meet my parents before we are officail. SO I was scared to death. I had heard some stories that his mama was so mean. (Not true at all). I came over meet them, stayed for about an hour then we went and walked the track. After we got back to my house, we were sitting on the couch and he said will you be my girlfriend? 2nd best day of my life. We dated all through highschool. During my senior year he kept saying he wanted to marry me. Christmas of 2005 he gave me a promise ring. I accepted because i to wanted to marry him. He is the love of my life and soul mate

Prom 2006

One of our first dates

Prom 2005

ONe of the first times i came to his house

Love of my life.

After I graduated we started talking more and more about marraige and he asked me one night just out of the blue and I said yes.

We changed our wedding date so many times. We were gonna wait a year, then just a few months and we finally decided to get married on September 30, 2006. Greatest day of my life. If you know me or my family i did not grow up with all the things of the world, i didnt have the best childhood and honestly i didnt expect a lot of help. My mama was a big help and my dad actually pitched in. I had a small wedding. Only about 75 people but honestly it could have been just me and him in the middle of the road somewhere and i wouldnt have cared. My wedding turned out better than i ever thought it would. Christophers parents were a big help to. After that day everything else in my life has seen so easy with him by my side. I love him more than words can say and im not gonna act like we dont have our arguments because we do. THats what makes our relationship stronger.