How will I ever do it??

Life as a mommy is soooo rewarding but can be difficult. I love every minute I spend with Raelyn and so far that has been every minute since she was born. The longest we have been apart is an hour and that almost killed me. I just don't know how Im going to do it. How am I going to leave her and go back to school? Will I be able to focus? She is my whole world right now I can't imagine leaving her. Oh how I wish I could be a stay at home mommy!

Our days are usually very busy( even though we are usually at home). We wake up around 9. Raelyn gets 2 medicines and 2 oz of milk. Two hours later she eats again. We repeat this all day but she gets he medicine four times a day. See, she has a bad case of reflux and it has caused her to lose weight. So we are trying everything possible to stop that. She has started gaining weight back, God's Glory!

How can I leave her with someone? Will they know what to do when she spits and it comes through her nose and she is choking on it?? Will they be able to handle it?? These are questions that run through my head daily as January quickly approaches. I cry thinking about it. I will return to VSU to finish my teaching degree and she will be 50 minutes away from me every day. What if something happens? I just don't know. I stress over this way to much but I think I have a bad case of separation anxiety. After being told I may not ever have children, I just can't bring myself to leave my miracle! Lord please help me make it through this! I know you will.

Enjoy a few pics from the last few months.

We have a BABY!

During the last week of July pregnancy really hit me. I went for my 36 week checkup and everything was fine. Well a day (Wednesday) later I started having some SERIOUS contractions. I just put it off thinking they would go away. I just figured I could go to bed and wake up and pray they wouldn't be gone. Well after a LONG night of contractions, I was wore out. SO on Thursday the contractions eased a bit but was still there by 6 pm I had all I could handle. SO we made a trip to the ER. I was 1.5 dilated and 60% effaced..needless to say I was sent back home..in PAIN! Well I had another long night, so first thing that morning(Friday) I called my doctor. I was told to come in, they monitored and said it was just false labor...Really? I was so ill by this point.. I was not trying to rush anything..I just wanted the pain to stop. I wanted to enjoy my last few weeks pregnant. Well I went home very angry..finally got a few hours of sleep, by 10 o'clock that night, the contractions had started back and were worse than before. They were taking my breath. I called the Labor and Delivery to find out what to do, the Dr told me to come in. I did and guess what..They said false labor.. by this time I was HOT! Anyways they gave me some pain meds and said it would knock out the contractions. The nurse Said " I will be back in 30 minutes to release you". Well actually she was back in 10 minutes because I started having contractions every 2 minutes lasting about 50 seconds. I told them it wasn't false. Well moving along. The doctor admitted me for "observation" but by 6 am the contractions were not easing off. This is when I heard the best/scariest words in my life. "WE are going to start pitocin. Your in labor but progressly slowly and this pain could continue for weeks. I believe she is healthy enough to come TODAY". Wait, What??? Really.. I'm going to have a baby today! I was so happy/scared all at one time. And honestly I had JUST packed my bags and truck for the hosptial a few days ready. The Lord was ready! WE progressed Slowly. But by 8:07 pm We had a Beautiful baby girl. She was 6 lbs 4 oz and 19.5 inches long. Amazing! She was/is the most precious thing I have ever seen. Oh I am so in love!

Meet Miss Raelyn Grace McGovern

T- Minus 8 weeks..HOLY COW

We are now at 32 weeks. I can't believe it has went by so fast. Life is great and getting better. I have always dreamed of having a child and I can't believe it is coming true. I am so happy. We only have 8 weeks left...HOLY COW!!

I can honestly say this pregnancy has been wonderful. The only problems I can complain about are hurting from her growing(good sign), Until this past week. Christopher and I were in Douglas and I started hurting horribly. I didn't know what to do. I figured it was probably just a part of pregnancy, so we started home and He said are you sure we don't need to go to the hospital. Well we both decided to be safe than sorry and Lord I am glad we did. I got there and they hooked me straight up and started monitoring for contractions. I was having contractions about 15 minutes apart and some irritability contractions in between. The nurse gave me some medicine to stop the contractions ans sent me home. The next morning I woke up with the same pain and called my doctor. He told me to go onto bed rest until my next appointment, which is Tuesday, and take Brethine(medicine to stop contractions) every 6 hours. This was/is the scariest thing ever. Although I am more than ready to meet my sweet girl I want her to be healthy and bake as long as she needs to.

Alot has been going on around me as well. My brother who has been in a detention center for 2 years was released and that has taken some adjusting. I am so grateful he is out and pray he stays on the right track for his children. I have decided to change my major to Nursing. I just don't think I can handle being an hour away if something was to happen to Raelyn, plus I think I will enjoy it. Time will tell.

I find myself sitting around thinking about Raelyn. What will she look like? What will she act like? Will I be able to know which cry means what? It is scary to know in only 8 weeks I will hold her in my arms. I want to be the best mother I can possibly be. I worry a lot that I won't know what to do. I'm just hoping a motherly instinct will kick in. I have been around children for 11 years but none of them are mine. I know it will be different. Dear Lord, Please help me be the best mother I can be! Amen.

Until next time! Im still getting used to this!

23 weeks! Already?

I realized it has been awhile since my last post. I know I'm a big slacker. I have been busy with school.

Pregnancy is the most amazing experience. I love every minute of it. It seems like everyday is better than the last. Yes, I have days where I hurt every where and I am sick but nothing compares to joy I have for my baby girl. Yes, We are having a girl. Miss Raelyn Grace. A lot has went on since my last post. My husband recently changed jobs and that is taking some adjusting but I thank God every day he still has a job. I am so thankful for him and everything he does for our family. I fall more in love with him everyday. Life is truly amazing.

Lately I have been faced with some decisions and I'm not sure what to do. I wanted to take a semester off to spend with my daughter and still will be able to graduate on time but there is a possibility I may have to take one class in fall that will not be offered anymore. I feel like if I am going for one class I should go for all of them. I'm not sure what to do but I know God has a plan and I will follow it, what ever it may be.

Raelyn is doing great. We went for our 20 week appointment(4-5-10)and She is measuring perfect and has all of her body parts and organs. She measured at 12 oz. A few days before that appointment I got to feel her move/kick for the first time and it was AMAZING and still is every time I feel it. I think she gets harder everyday! Christopher finally got to feel her last week and that was also amazing. He is already wrapped around her finger. I believe she may be a Daddy's girl. She gets so excited when he is around or talks to her. I know it sounds weird but I honestly think she knows he is there. As I said before pregnancy is amazing and everyday it gets better. I know I complain alto about school work and honestly its hard being pregnant and going to school. I wouldn't change it for the world though, because I know she will benefit from it in the long run. I have really learned alot from this experience and it is not over yet. I have come to realize I'm going to be a mommy. At first I knew it but it had not sank it but it is coming reality now as we only have 17 weeks left until our due date. This is so hard to write down or explain but I feel so blessed that God let me expereince this.

Just some background info: Im not sure if I have mentioned this before or not but I was never sure I would get pregnant. i have something called polycystic ovarian syndrome and was told it would be really hard to concieve. SO, Raelyn really is our MIRACLE! I promise there is more to come as the semster is ending and I will have more time to wrtie. Until then!